Guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels: Rule #4 — No decision is worth your future
This piece is adapted from a live session with Stacy Braiuca, Squirrel Wrangler™, and it dives into integrity in decision-making. If you want a short road map for guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels, you’re in the right place: we’ll unpack Rule #4, explore real-life scenarios, and leave you with a practical exercise you can use immediately.
🪵 What Rule #4 really means
Stacy's Rule #4 started in a classroom with early-career social workers: "There is no job worth your current or future license." But that rule has broadened. The core idea is simple — there is no decision worth capitulating your future self or your fundamental ethics for. Break down your choices and you’ll see how it connects to guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels: you notice the impulse (the squirrel), name it, and decide from your values instead of from capitulation.
✨ Integrity in everyday decisions
Integrity isn’t a grand gesture. It’s the tiny choices: signaling when you change lanes, apologizing when you bump someone, or honoring confidentiality when a person is vulnerable with you. Integrity contains choices and consequences, rights and responsibilities. When you anchor decisions in those basics, you reduce the chance of later regret.
🧭 Values, beliefs, opinions: the decision flow
One reason decisions feel messy is that values, beliefs, and opinions are often conflated. Stacy outlines a clean flow to follow:
- Identify your values — what matters most at the top of your list.
- Check beliefs — what you hold to be true about the world and people.
- Notice thoughts and feelings — acknowledge the squirrely impulse.
- Decide and act — choose a behavior aligned with values.
- Reflect on consequences — learn and adjust.
When you practice this, you’re actively guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels — turning impulsive patterns into deliberate choices.
🫶 Real-life scenarios: helpers and everyone else
Stacy speaks from experience as a therapist and coach: when someone shares their most vulnerable material, your immediate response is a decision with lasting impact. That’s true whether you are a therapist, teacher, EMT, musician, or business owner. Integrity matters in every role because actions become the expression of ethics.
"Action is indeed the sole medium of expression of ethics." — Jane Addams
🧩 Practical exercise: map a recent decision
Try this short exercise to practice guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels. Take a recent decision and walk it through the flow above.
- What was the decision?
- Which of your core values influenced it?
- What beliefs were at play?
- What was the outcome and did you anticipate it?
- Did the decision confirm or challenge your values?
- What will you do differently next time?
Do this once a week for a month and notice how your impulse control and alignment with values improve — that’s literally guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels in practice.
🗣️ Staying accountable: responsibility vs. the telephone game
Stories morph as they travel. Stacy warns against holding people accountable for parts they didn’t play — the classic telephone game of added opinions and assumptions. Integrity asks us to listen to the original narrator, avoid rushing to judgment, and own our piece when appropriate. That approach protects relationships and keeps decisions honest.
🛠️ Tools to strengthen integrity
- Identify your top 3 values and write them where you can see them.
- Pause before reacting — even five seconds helps stop capitulation.
- Ask: "Does this action express my ethics?" (Borrow Stacy’s Rule #4 as a guardrail.)
- Reflect after decisions: what did you learn and what will change?
All of these are steps toward guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels — cultivating a default of deliberate, values-aligned behavior.
How do I tell whether a choice aligns with my values?
Write down your top values, then compare the choice to each value. If the action pulls you away from those core values, it likely doesn’t align. Use the pause-and-reflect technique to create space for that comparison.
What if others pressure me to capitulate at work?
Remember Rule #4: protect your future self. Name the pressure, state your values briefly, and offer an alternative. If the pressure continues, document the situation and seek supervision or advocacy rather than sacrificing your license or ethics.
Can small everyday actions really express ethics?
Yes. Jane Addams’ quote captures this: action is the medium of ethics. Small gestures — honesty, respect, and accountability — compound into a life lived with integrity.
🔚 Closing: one small commitment
This week, catch one decision and make it a conscious demonstration of your values. Practicing that single choice is another step in guiding humans to wrangling inner squirrels. Rule #4 is your reminder: no decision is worth giving up your ethics or your future. Stay curious, be kind to yourself in the learning process, and act in ways that let your ethics show.
Want to keep going? Repeat the practice exercise weekly and notice how small, deliberate choices reshape your relationships and your life.
